The following is part of a new series called The Chronicles of Mommia from our guest blogger SonnyGirl. Enjoy!
Christmas is officially ruined. Yes, it’s only July, but still… Since this past November my nearly-four year old, Parker, has been relentlessly playing Christmas songs and her 19-month-old brother, Axl, is loving every minute of it. Every time we get in the car Parker screams out, “CHRISTMAS SONGS, MOMMY!!!!” I try to dissuade this, but usually to no avail. When they were in the womb I started indoctrinating them with “cool” music. We weren’t gonna be that family that listened to “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or sang the Barney theme song; oh no, we were gonna jam to Tegan and Sara, Joy Division, any song off G & R’s Greatest Hits album. But now “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” is stuck in my head for days on end.
Parker with Elf on a Shelf
How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? Maybe I proclaimed my love of Christmas-time too enthusiastically. I do (did) love it, though! The lights, the trees, the coffees, the mixed drinks, the shopping, the movies, the mixed drinks and, of course, the music. It’s the greatest 30 days (plus or minus) of my life. At least, it was. “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” isn’t fun in July, it’s aggravating. Pulling up to a stop light with the windows rolled down and my kids singing “Jingle Bell Rock” with Alvin and the Chipmunks doesn’t have the same cool-factor as it would have, had we been singing any song by Muse or MGMT.
My kids are… dorks. And they’ve pulled me into dorkdom with them, because even though I loathe it, I sing, too. I dare you to try not to sing the “dashing through the snow” part of “Jingle Bells”. You literally can’t do it. Even if you make it through the beginning of that verse, as soon as the “Ha ha ha” part hits, you’re done for, and when the verse starts again you chime in eagerly, practically. It’s tragic when I realize I’ve been singing “… SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!” at the top of my lungs right along with my kids. And even more tragic when I do that and then remember that I dropped my kids off at school and have had very easy access to Phoenix for the past 15 minutes.
Axl and Parker with Santa
I told Parker that if we had to listen to Christmas music every day on a going-forward basis, we can’t listen to it for the 30 days (plus or minus) during ACTUAL Christmas-music-time. She couldn’t care less. She has no concept of time unless the time is right this very second. And my threats are idle because what kind of person doesn’t listen to Christmas music during Christmas-music-time? And who am I kidding? She’ll call my bluff anyway. On November 20th (the day the Hall family Christmas-time starts), she’ll get in the car and say, “CHRISTMAS MUSIC, MOMMY!!” and I’m going to give in and scream, “FROZEN!” with supreme (maybe even ACTUAL) delight when “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” comes on.
Ugh. Well, at least they don’t throw tantrums. Very often. Actually, scratch that. At least they don’t ever embarrass me by saying bad words completely in context and with grammatical accuracy. That’s not entirely true, I’m pretty sure Parker’s done that six times in front of people at her school and twice at the grocery store. At least they don’t tell me I’m not their Mommy anymore when I don’t get them donuts. Wait… kind of, they’ve been known to say this…
OH! Got it… At least they’re not making me play Marilyn Manson non-stop. Although, that “Heart-Shaped Glasses” song is totally rad. You know, I don’t even really mind his music. Okay, okay, here we go, at least they don’t DRESS like Marilyn Manson. YES!
Sonny Hall lives with her husband, Matt, her 4-year-old sassy-pants daughter, Parker and her 20-month-old chubby little man, Axl in Golden, Colorado. They also have an appropriately named, Dr. Hannibal Lector, cat who brings lots of bunnies and moles to his family on a daily basis. The Halls enjoy a low-key life with their great neighbors and friends, drinking wine and swinging on homemade wooden swings hanging from trees in their backyard.
We hope you enjoyed part 1 of The Chronicles of Mommia from our guest blogger SonnyGirl. Let us know what you think!
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