One Mother’s Reason Why Kindergarten Can Wait

It’s that time a year again…all the little (and not so little kids) are gearing up for the first day of school. I hear all the emotions from my mommy friends and see many images of tears and smiles on social media. First day of preschool, middle school, senior year of high school…. the years are sadly, flying by.

Our son Dylan was born August 26, 2010 and in the state of Florida the cut off to start Kindergarten is September 1^st. Almost days after his birth, the agony of a hard decision really resonated with me. “He will make the cut off by 5 days!” As parents we know the second that baby is born, the weight of your parenting choices are a huge reality.   Some have little impact, others the course of lives are at stake. Would we or wouldn’t we let Dylan start Kindergarten as a 4 year old or would we wait and give him one more year?

The thought did not consume me every day of his little life, but around this time of year I would be reminded “the year” was creeping up and a choice would have to be made.   Dylan was a happy, healthy baby and toddler. He built block towers, loved his Melissa and Doug puzzles and did all sorts of arts and crafts. As other moms of boys know, they just develop in some ways a little later than girls do. Let’s call it a DNA thing.

Dylan started preschool part time at 2 years old and continued to grow and learn. He took a little longer to potty train, but that might have had something to do with my second pregnancy and then a new baby. I looked for any indication either way, if Dylan would be starting kindergarten or not. Let me tell you, it’s hard. I worried he may not be challenged enough if held back. If I send him and he’s not ready, could we do more damage? Lowered self- esteem and confidence? The weight was getting heavier on me, let me clarify that… us. My husband and I are in this together and make our parenting choices as one.

The year has arrived. In February we asked for a conference with his VPK (Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten) teacher. The state of Florida gives 4 year olds a kindergarten prep year, 3 hours of learning that is state funded. Dylan did great and loved it. He was on par with all the academics and even started to read earlier this year. During the meeting we asked his teacher if we should hold Dylan back. Since Dylan was so young, she told us the extra year could do nothing but benefit him. Build him up even more. In fact, a couple of the kids in her class with Dylan were on a 2^nd year of Pre K.

Dylan did know all the material that would make him “kindergarten ready”. As his parents, we knew that emotionally and socially Dylan would probably be happier and perform better long term by giving him another year. I don’t want to say this is the right choice for everyone. Each child is different. This is why parenting is hard, because we need to know our child and make that choice for them.

After telling another mom on the playground, who happened to be a teacher, that we made that choice she told us it was a good one. She said we are giving our son the “Gift of Growth”. Since then, that’s the term we use. We are not holding him back, rather building him up. Giving him time, something money can’t buy or can ever be given back to us. In my heart of hearts I’m so happy because our family just scored another year with our amazing boy.

Congratulations to all the kiddos starting their first day and to all the parents for surviving it.

-Stefanie